I've loved limericks - those silly rhyming poems of five lines - since I was a young kid.
I've been an excited fan of Sherlock Holmes since Grade 7.
So, recently, it hit me: Wouldn't it be splendid to combine the two?
And so I did!
Here are those 20 ludicrous, silly, somewhat nonsensical and (hopefully) hilarious Sherlock Holmes limericks I finally managed to pen down.
Some of the limericks are about BBC Sherlock and some are about the original Sherlock Holmes.
There was once a guy called Punk
Who said, "Sherlock is junk."
They looked at him amazed,
With their eyebrows raised-
Until he confessed he was drunk.
There was once a man from Rice
Who said, "Sherlock isn't that nice."
When they said, "You're kidding, right?"
His face lit up all bright,
And he said, "You got me guys!"
The autumn sun's quite hot,
In London, the melting pot.
Sherlock needs a case,
Or his engine-brain will race
and he'll succumb to you-know-what!
Once upon a time in a party,
Sherlock Holmes grew quite arty!
He drew dog-owners and dogs,
Hansoms in London fogs-
Until he stumbled upon...Moriarty.
There was once a boy from Coventry,
Who kept saying 'Elementary'!
He just wouldn't cease,
Until he was given a piece-
Of the finest chocolate from the pantry.
There was once a boy called Gomes,
Who had a couple of syndromes.
His problem which had grown,
Only got cured when shown-
'The Complete Sherlock Holmes'!
John Watson tried a ton-
To write limericks. He managed none...
And became very frustrated,
Until it was communicated-
That he was at least part of one!
While consulting some legal tomes,
Lestrade was stunned by two gnomes!
He almost fainted with surprise,
Till each removed his disguise-
To reveal Watson and Sherlock Holmes!
Once Watson was dissatisfied.
"I too can deduce," he cried.
"This device on the bed,
Belongs to a man who's dead!"
"It's your phone," Sherlock replied.
Watson puffed out some smoke,
and said, "Holmes, I'm a clever bloke!"
I observe things, you know,
And deduce stuff like a pro."
And then they both laughed at the joke!
One day, watching a TV show,
John exclaimed, "Sherlock, do you know-
The Earth moves 18 miles a sec?"
Sherlock remarked, "What the heck-
Would I care if it were slow?"
One day, while gazing at a plume,
Holmes' powers were in bloom-
When he suddenly realized
That cleverly disguised,
Watson had left the room!
Let me come out clean
By telling you what I've seen-
Once when Sherlock was drunk
He posed like a hunk,
And declared, "I love Irene!"
Sherlock, after a Christmas party,
Secretly, as a matter-of-hearty:
Sneaked out and gazed at Irene's pic!
When John, agile and quick-
Screamed, "I've caught you Mr. Smarty!"
Sherlock and Irene paid some visits
To the cinema. They both liked whodunits.
But Irene wasn't amused,
When Sherlock deduced-
The killer - in the opening credits!
Yes, Sherlock is quite mean,
But there's more than can be seen.
For if you delve deep,
Within his heart and peep,
You will find Adler, Irene!
Mrs. Hudson, on a sunny day,
Was asked, "Are John and Sherlock gay?"
She turned quite red.
"Of course they are," she said
"But it's completely OK."
Sherlock had asked for some tea,
And John had asked for spaghetti,
He was about to order trout,
When Mrs. Hudson shouted out:
"I'm your freakin' landlady!"
There was once a client so tall,
His head looked like a golf ball!
All Sherlock could deduce,
Was the colour of his shoes-
And nothing else at all!
There was once a client from Tillietudlem,
Whose ring suddenly showed up in Audlem!
Sherlock examined the facts,
He telegraphed some contacts,
And declared it a three-pipe problem.
Hope you enjoyed these crazy limericks!
Have you written a Sherlock Holmes limerick or poem? Why not write one now?
Share your limerick (even a long, funny poem's fine) and I'll post it here along with other readers' contributions.
PS: If you enjoyed this page, you might love these Sherlock Holmes jokes too.
Have you ever written a poem on Sherlock Holmes? Why not try writing a limerick today? Share it here and I'll publish it along with other readers' contributions!
Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...
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